Stupid lag!

A problem that I've had really bad in the past is lag.  My first foray in to online gaming was over 56k playing Jedi Outcast, and that was just hellish, sometimes.  People these days complain that they were lagged by a millisecond and it got them killed, but in the 56k days you would run for 20 seconds then teleport back to where you started if it was bad enough.  This brings me to my point, lag really can affect games.  That millisecond can easily get you killed.  Just remember to be sure that lag is the problem.

The controversial "No Russian" mission is actually a complex allegory for a laggy server.

Recently I was gaming with some people on Super Street Fighter IV, having a great laugh, when one of them was heavy shoryuken'd out of a focus attack.  This, apparently, was the fault of a laggy connection and not of a stupid decision. Therein lies my point.  Lag is an excuse that is easy to reach for whenever something goes wrong.

I'm not immune to it myself, I often shout things like "I fecking well shot first!" and "This bloody lag is killing me." In these instances more often than not it's because I sprint around like a fool and advertise myself as a target (another reason why I'm rubbish at FFA).  The problem I have is with having it in your brain that the mechanics of a game drastically change when you take it online.  Case in point: a heavy shoryuken will knock you out of a focus attack online or offline.  It's how the game works.  There is no arguing.

LAG!

If you make a stupid mistake it's time to own up to it.  You only end up looking like a moaning idiot to everyone else in the game, and unfortunately no one cares.  Remember that everyone is prone to doing silly things, especially in games where fun is of the utmost importance.  For example: You see a squad of men ahead who don't know you're there, the smart thing would be to tell your mates and wait for back-up, but the fun thing would be to pull the pin out of a grenade and try to get as close as possible.

When someone starts bitching and moaning about how unfair everything is, whatever fun was being had is crushed, and all that is left is "I wish this guy would just shut the hell up."

Do we want that, or do we want honest fun?

Getting in to the jam...

Recently I've been making myself really get in to my games when I'm playing them.  Running head first into an enemy squad holding a live grenade is much more fun when you let loose a bestial roar when you're doing it.  It started a few weeks ago while playing Gears of War 2 with the Ready Up troupe.

I had just spawned, and I could hear a battle raging close by so I ran in its direction.  When I arrived all I found were pieces of mixed body parts, locust and human.  I recognised one of them, and it was still breathing.  It was one of my internet pals, the only survivor of that battle and unfortunately she happened to be my enemy in this instance.  I knew right then what I had to do.  Chainsaw in hand I nonchalantly swaggered up to my prone pal and began carving.  Letting rip the most horrendously devious evil laugh I've ever managed.

RRRRAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It felt good.

Since that moment I've been augmenting my games time with my own personal feelings in grunt/scream/roar form.  I tell you the truth it really adds to the experience, especially when the people you're roaring/screaming/grunting at can hear you doing it.


I like to think it has a negative effect on enemy morale, but it's probably much more likely to have a muting effect on my Xbox Live chat.

Someone to watch over me...

When it comes to games, I'm never one to go it alone. If I'm not surrounded on all sides by 10 of my closest friends (or complete strangers) then I'm a dead man. I don't know what it is about free-for-all play that I just can't do.

I remember the good old days before I knew how to work network settings, when I used to spend hours fighting bots in Unreal Tournament. Working with or on whichever new mods I'd found, I always came out on top. The funny thing is, I always played free-for-all and I ALWAYS won. So what's changed?

HEADSHOT

While it is true that there is no Redeemer in Modern Warfare 2, that's not really an excuse. I used to sit for hours playing against 64 bots on the smallest map (the name of which escapes me) mutated with InstaGib and I'd slaughter my way to victory every time. If you put me in a free-for-all with a measly two people on Modern Warfare 2 generally I spend more time dead than alive. I can't do it. It's a little difficult to concentrate on stealth when all I want to do is push an armed rocket down the throat of my enemy (who is usually my friend) and teabag their corpse.

I'm thinking that maybe I lack the subtlety that is required for free-for-all. I didn't even start using the ninja perk until I was told exactly what it does and why it's helpful. I'm more at home on a changing, back and forth front line. I need green zones and red zones. I need to be able to hear gunfire in the distance that ISN’T directed at me. I need to be part of something bigger than myself! I find hoofing it over terrain towards a raging battle far more exhilarating than creeping round a corner in an urban setting, waiting for some poor sod to make a stupid mistake. It’s not that I’m afraid of dying in a videogame and want others to do it for me. The enemy position is impenetrable? They have heavy machineguns, tanks and Helos? You want me to lead the charge? Alright fine, just let me get my rocket launcher and let’s not forget; I am not going in on my own.

COME OOOONNNN!!!

I want people to work in unison with me!

Give me 11 teammates and 12 enemies, set me up with things to fight over and watch me flourish, or watch me mine roads and wait for tanks to run over them. Either way is good.